Thursday, June 14, 2012

... And then we moved to Texas?

A potential move is up for discussion. This is not the first time my husband and I have had this talk. We have contemplated the move to the West Coast to be closer to my stepchildren. We have dreamed about a move to North Carolina to be midway between my parents and my in-laws. Now Texas is on the table. We are discussing the possibility because a relocation via my husband's job could become available in the near future.

I'm a change-hater and a big move like this would be life-changing. Moving away from my family and the place I have called home for almost twenty years now would be very difficult. I'm purposely not thinking about that part right now. But we see the positives as well. Being geographically closer to my husband's kids, being in a bigger city with more job opportunities and more entertainment options, the exciting adventure of starting a new life in a new place together.

The potential cities on the list actually sound amazing. Beautiful weather, great schools, many colleges and universities I could work for, solid job market, affordable housing, low cost of living, lot's of fun stuff to do (festivals, live music, sports), and great health care. Wouldn't all of those benefits outweigh some of the risks? My favorite place to play when thinking about moving is Find Your Spot. If you've never been to the site before, check it out. You take a quiz and the best places for you to live are recommended.

I like to tell myself that I would be brave and would handle a big move well. I think about all the proactive things I could do to establish myself in a new area. Joining Meetup groups, connecting with my board friends to see who lives in the area, signing up to volunteer for Girls Inc. and Girls on the Run, joining a gym, taking yoga classes, etc. It would be sad, and it would be scary, but it could be an amazing experience as well.

My husband and I tend to be pretty lazy people, so a move that is facilitated by one of our jobs might be the only way we ever do it. To move in this way we would already have one person's career taken care of (one job search instead of two) and the company would also pay for our relocation (less stress figuring out how to afford packing, traveling, deposits on a new place to live, etc.). We would also automatically know a few people - his co-workers and their families (many of whom would also be experiencing a relocation). If we were left to figure everything out on our own - where to move, where to live, saving up to pay for it all, when to go, how to meet new people ... we would never make it happen.

I do have my usual worries. My career of course. My husband would be employed, but there would be no guarantee as to when and where I would find work. I worry about the setback it would cause in my career development, to leave my current job so soon, to have a gap in my employment history, and so on. I worry about money - a big move to a completely new state without major savings in the bank? Sounds terrifying to me! I need that sense of security savings would bring, and we may not have time for that. And then there is starting a family ... if we begin trying again soon I could be pregnant or have an infant when we move. Being away from loved ones would be very difficult during that time.

In order to really wrap my head around the idea and see how I truly feel I need to know the timeline. When would a move really happen? Are we talking months or years? How much advance notice would we have? Will I have several months to adjust to the idea, say my goodbyes and plan for a new life? I don't have any of this information yet, but I've encouraged my husband to get the details.

If you have stories to share of a big move, I'd love to hear them.


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