It’s a good thing I didn’t promise to write often, seeing how I went almost a year without updating this blog. I still feel a little ruffled by life at times, but post-wedding and sitting pretty at thirty I do believe I have more days of calm. ”Confused, flustered and maybe a little bit crazy” can probably more often be applied to my personality than to my everyday life. Ruffled will stick as a title. I still love the word, and I hope the concept is genuine.
The search for friends still continues. I have made attempts to be more social, including joining a book club and accepting lunch invitations from a nice new co-worker. My husband still has a few true friends, although we may not see them often. A tight knit crew of pals sounds like a dream we’re missing out on, but I won’t complain about our quiet, comfortable life. This life is good. My heart will stay open to new people and new opportunities, but that same heart is currently very content.
As you already know, my current gig is no longer current. I could finish up with the ‘likes’ half of that blog post (and still might) but I know that what I write now will be skewed by nostalgia for my old co-workers and the safety of a familiar routine. I do plan to look at all of the jobs I have had over the years as a way of discovering more about what type of career suits my lifestyle best and will make me truly happy.
I can offer a positive update to the Paralyzed post. I escaped the repetitive trap of insanity and changed! I did get a second job – as a caregiver for elderly people on weekends and evenings – for about 8 months. It was difficult sometimes, but it did help a little financially. Working two jobs also spurred me on in my search for one better full time job.
I also actively pursued the volunteering idea. I signed up with my local chapter of Girls on the Run (an amazing group in my opinion) and went through training to be an Assistant Coach. Unfortunately, when I accepted my new job, I had to bow out of the position because of time conflicts. I believe I would have been very fulfilled by volunteering for Girls on the Run and hope I can find a way to make it work in the future. I am particularly drawn to causes that involve helping girls in the elementary and middle school age range. I will keep searching for other ways to volunteer and make a difference. I’m sure it is good for the soul.
I can say I’m no longer paralyzed, but I can’t say I’m stress-free. I am stressed more often than not. One of my missions for my thirtieth year should be learning to relax, let go, and live in the moment. Wish me luck …
~E
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